Dave and Gideon’s Laugh-In

As a double act, Gideon George Osborne and Dave Cameron are scarily like Gordon Brown and Tony Bliar.

Dave’s latest twist on his routine is to pretend he’s offering change – no, not loose change (god knows we need it) but change from old to new. You know, like that US politician Barry O’Bama (secretly, he’s Irish!) who seems to be doing so well in the presidential contest.

Gideon George has taken to saying very little. Inspired, no doubt, by Harpo Marx. I am told that in future appearances on the Today programme Gideon George will communicate by means of blowing a whistle…

At his party’s conference, Dave was “the man with a plan”. We could see he was a man, but as for anything resembling a plan…

I know what you’re thinking – but alas, they’re not branching out into magic.

“What would you do differently about the banking crisis?” Those pesky journalists keep asking Dave and Gideon George the same darn question.

Would you have nationalised Northern Rock? Bradford and Bingley, would you have let that bank go bust? And the bailout, would you have acted differently?

Well, to stop these questions being asked, Dave and Gideon George said they’d back the government during the crisis. A loyal opposition, so to speak.

Now, this is an old joke – one that the double act first used back in 2005 (no more Punch and Judy politics, said Dave) – but the old ones are the best.

Well, turns out that the ha-ha’s worn out of this joke.

From now on, Dave and Gideon George will blame Brown’s light-touch regulation and the failure to regulate the banks for the economic crisis.

After years of calling for “red tape” to be reduced and for the government to regulate less – even less! – Dave and Gideon George have turned it around in a hilarious send up of themselves.

Sadly, the commentariat are not aware that the Tory duo are engaged in post-modern performance art and insist upon taking them seriously.

The rest of us, we’re laughing!

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3 Responses to “Dave and Gideon’s Laugh-In”

  1. David Lindsay Says:

    Only Newsnight, which I am starting to think that I am the last person watching, mentioned Cameron’s “fightback” at all on the television last night.

    And it also made it clear that the knives were out for the Invisible and Inaudible Man, George Osborne.

    Only there because he’s a member of the Bullingdon Club. But nearly never let into that, on account of how he is only Saint Paul’s, and his father is a mere baronet who is in trade. Cameron, by contrast, had sailed in.

    So, to Cameron, this jumped up little oik is entirely dispensable. And will very soon be dispensed with.

  2. Seán Says:

    Cameron’s re-writing of history in THAT speech was truly Orwellian. Brown inherited the process of massive personal debt – and made it far worse – but the damage to manufacturing (a possible avenue out of the slump) was done during the 80s, alongside the growth in availability of easy credit to make up for the fact that workers’ were being screwed out of the ‘proceeds of growth’ – another vacuous Cameroonian phrase.

    Of all the people on the planet that block my longing to become a pacifist, Cameron is currently numero uno. If I ever got close enough, I would have to punch in his flabby face.

  3. charliemarks Says:

    “If I ever got close enough, I would have to punch in his flabby face.”

    I can’t imagine he’d respond a al Prescott!


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